Frustrating Love...

I love Emer. More than anyone I've ever known or will ever know. She is funny, adorable, kind, caring, messy, shy but such a loyal friend, and above all - she is my daughter. I see myself in her and I see some unknown traits as well. I encourage all things with her, be it good, frustrating, or otherwise. I enjoy listening to her play piano; I enjoy watching her act as Orville Redenbacher; I love listening in on her friends and realizing how tiny and young they still are; I take her challenging behaviour and run with it; I love watching her interact and make new friends...she is amazing.
I know that my daughter is no more amazing than anyone else's daughter. But she is a part of me and that draws up a sense of pride so strong that I will always find her as the most amazing person ever!

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Despite all of this, I find frustration. Frustration in a lack of accomplishment. Frustration in a lack of competition. Frustration in a lack of responsibility. Frustration in a lack of organization. I wonder where I'm going wrong. Why doesn't she seem to care about practicing to get faster in the water? Why doesn't she complete her very simple chores and basic routines at home? Why is following an after-school routine to keep her things organized and get her homework done so difficult for her? Is there something else I should be doing? We've tried checklists, an allowance, texting and writing and talking about schedules...nothing. We're no further to getting her to care about responsibilities and abilities than we were when she was in pre-school.
I know I hated most chores when I was a kid but I loved practicing piano. I know I struggled with math but I loved reading. For each thing Emer struggles with or doesn't seem to care about I try to find the opposite or another thing she does love and care about. She loves to play the piano for her class at school, but doesn't seem to care if she ever gets new songs to learn. She loves swimming and does care about what place she comes in after each event...but not enough to really put in extra practice or effort. Routines and chores at home - I can't seem to find anything she likes outside of playing Minecraft or watching TV. She would sit on her pajamas and a pile of books and stuffed animals, completely content, if I let her. She would eat treats and then lay on the wrappers for the next week if I didn't clean up or push her to clean them up. I do know that kids think moms (or some magical being perhaps) are there to clean up after them but it gets frustrating trying to teach her a sense of responsibility.
In my Sunday Meditation class today we discussed the source of all problems - the source is in our minds. I am attached to the expectation that Emer will learn to be responsible and help out around the house. When this expectation isn't met I feel frustrated. I counter this with patience...to a point. Then it gets out of hand and I start to lose it. This is when I get more firm with her (eg, "Emer, eat that carrot or you will be served only carrots for dinner!") Whew...it is frustrating...(and a little irrational!)

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How do I counter this frustration? How do I stay calm but continue to teach good behavior and responsibility? I think these are age-old questions that every parent asks themselves. But that doesn't make it any easier. The only thing that is easy is to continue to love the frustrating child called Emer. And I do love her...which is why I just went into her room and showed her how to clean a 3x3 square foot area in 2 minutes. Again...
Sigh...