Summer Holidays - Out West!

I must officially be at the stage where parenthood is so normal that I don't think about blogging anymore. So sorry to everyone (one or two of you??) who enjoyed reading about the growing up and happenings of Emerson Rachel Cripe. I'll try to do better from now on!
So let's back up a couple of months to June - our big family trip out west!!

Emer's 4th grade National Park Pass drove all of our vacation last year. You heard about going out east to Baltimore, south to Tennessee, and then we traveled all the way west to California. This was the BIG trip b/c it was #1 much farther away and #2 much more expensive. We joked about how we saved about $60/person on national park entries but spent over $1000 to do it! Still, everyone needs a big out west trip at least once in their childhood and we're pretty fortunate for this to be the 2nd big trip and 4th or 5th time Emer has been out there. Our goals were to see Giant trees - Sequoia National Park, and another stellar piece of land - Yosemite National Park. We were flying into and out of San Fransisco so we also wanted to spend a few days there. And Steve wanted us to see Carmel and Big Sur.  Yes, that's a lot to pack into one week! But we managed to do it and enjoy ourselves at the same time.
***Once again, I'd like to thank the Federal Government for your every kid in a park program. We would not have been inspired to do this without the National Park Pass. Please promote this more heavily so more kids can see the country the way we did!

Highlights of our trip included:
Driving into Yosemite we were greeted by this - Stunning. Massive. Impressive. And yet just the tip of what we were going to see...

 There's a place called Sentinel Dome in Yosemite. Emer and I climbed to the top where we were treated to a full 180 degree view of the park! Breathtaking.

 Sequoia National Park is filled with the Giant Sequoia trees shown below. We learned that they fall uphill b/c the winds that spread fire tend to hit the uphill side of the trees thereby weakening that side. These trees are the most amazing, majestic, and strong things I've ever seen! This was my favorite part of the trip!

 Emer and I also climbed to the top of Moro Rock which provided more spectacular views of the entire park. We could even see the winding road we had to drive up to get into the mountains!

Following the National Parks we headed out to Monteray Bay where we visited Big Sur for a spectacular lunch, 

drove the 17 Mile Drive, and enjoyed beach time!

 
We finished up back in San Francisco where we stayed in a lovely AirBNB less than a mile from the beach. We were able to fit a LOT into our few shorts days there!

Walking along the piers we found a cool arcade where they had everything from antique (still working!) pieces to modern day arcade games. Here's a couple of fortune tellers we tried out! There is also an exhibit w/ a submarine and parts of other giant war ships. What a HUGE propeller!!

We had to see the famous sea lions. There weren't many b/c it isn't the season for them...

Interestingly enough, Emer's favorite part of San Francisco was Alcatraz!!

And there you have it! Our Big Family Out West vacation - 2018! It was so much fun and I hope Emer remembers everything we did for a very long time. Our country truly has some spectacular sites to see :)

Grief and Love

I'm sitting here having finished my evening rituals of getting Emer into bed, cleaning, finishing up any last minute work stuff that needs done, and practicing drums. I usually watch TV now but tonight I have a hankering for writing a blog. Nothing spectacular is coming to mind so let's just see what comes out my fingertips...

Oh Emerson...this girl that I love so much is so sweet and kind. Last week we lost Max. It was quite unexpected and extremely sad for both of us. My parents and I buried him at my brother's place and Emer didn't want to be there. That's OK. Instead, she and all her friends at school (and her teacher!) had a memorial service for Max at recess. She said they found a flower, a heart shaped bead, and put together a pile of mulch on which to put the bead and flower. Then they took turns telling stories about Max. She said she almost cried and one of her friends did cry. I am so touched by this and it makes me so happy and sad at the same time that my daughter is so loving and thoughtful to grieve in her own way with the support of her friends. It shows me that not only is she so sweet to want to do something like a service for our kitty but also what wonderful friends she has chosen. Most of her friends knew Max; a few didn't. But they all stood around and listened to each other and learned a little bit more about what makes Emer tick

Since that day, she has started sleeping w/ her door open sometimes to allow Mrs. Claws to come into her room with her. Mrs. Claws has always been Emer's cat - play fighting with her, sleeping outside her room every morning, snuggling w/ her...Max was Steve's (though as he got older he would choose to cuddle on my lap and Mrs. Claws would take over Steve's lap!) and Demitri was my kitty. Anyway, Emer feels like Mrs. Claws is lonely without Max so she wants to give her more love and attention, even if it annoys her when Mrs. Claws lays on her in the bed!

It's been a tough week. I miss Max so much. I especially miss him right now when it used to be just he and I on the couch and everyone else was sleeping...Max, Emer and I both hope your next life is even more wonderful than what you shared w/ us in this life. 💛💛💛

Frustrating Love...

I love Emer. More than anyone I've ever known or will ever know. She is funny, adorable, kind, caring, messy, shy but such a loyal friend, and above all - she is my daughter. I see myself in her and I see some unknown traits as well. I encourage all things with her, be it good, frustrating, or otherwise. I enjoy listening to her play piano; I enjoy watching her act as Orville Redenbacher; I love listening in on her friends and realizing how tiny and young they still are; I take her challenging behaviour and run with it; I love watching her interact and make new friends...she is amazing.
I know that my daughter is no more amazing than anyone else's daughter. But she is a part of me and that draws up a sense of pride so strong that I will always find her as the most amazing person ever!

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Despite all of this, I find frustration. Frustration in a lack of accomplishment. Frustration in a lack of competition. Frustration in a lack of responsibility. Frustration in a lack of organization. I wonder where I'm going wrong. Why doesn't she seem to care about practicing to get faster in the water? Why doesn't she complete her very simple chores and basic routines at home? Why is following an after-school routine to keep her things organized and get her homework done so difficult for her? Is there something else I should be doing? We've tried checklists, an allowance, texting and writing and talking about schedules...nothing. We're no further to getting her to care about responsibilities and abilities than we were when she was in pre-school.
I know I hated most chores when I was a kid but I loved practicing piano. I know I struggled with math but I loved reading. For each thing Emer struggles with or doesn't seem to care about I try to find the opposite or another thing she does love and care about. She loves to play the piano for her class at school, but doesn't seem to care if she ever gets new songs to learn. She loves swimming and does care about what place she comes in after each event...but not enough to really put in extra practice or effort. Routines and chores at home - I can't seem to find anything she likes outside of playing Minecraft or watching TV. She would sit on her pajamas and a pile of books and stuffed animals, completely content, if I let her. She would eat treats and then lay on the wrappers for the next week if I didn't clean up or push her to clean them up. I do know that kids think moms (or some magical being perhaps) are there to clean up after them but it gets frustrating trying to teach her a sense of responsibility.
In my Sunday Meditation class today we discussed the source of all problems - the source is in our minds. I am attached to the expectation that Emer will learn to be responsible and help out around the house. When this expectation isn't met I feel frustrated. I counter this with patience...to a point. Then it gets out of hand and I start to lose it. This is when I get more firm with her (eg, "Emer, eat that carrot or you will be served only carrots for dinner!") Whew...it is frustrating...(and a little irrational!)

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How do I counter this frustration? How do I stay calm but continue to teach good behavior and responsibility? I think these are age-old questions that every parent asks themselves. But that doesn't make it any easier. The only thing that is easy is to continue to love the frustrating child called Emer. And I do love her...which is why I just went into her room and showed her how to clean a 3x3 square foot area in 2 minutes. Again...
Sigh...

SLOW DOWN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm on Year Nine of Motherhood...I can still remember Year One like it was just last year. I'll look at old pictures on my blog or my phone and just gaze in awe at how small my Tiny was even 3 or 4 years ago. I think back on all the adventures we've been on and can't believe how many times she and I have been to NYC.
...
This seems as good a time as any to finish this blog post. I started this in Aug and it's now Oct. Let's see if I can finish explaining how this 9 year old Chickee needs to slow down in life before the month is over!
...
And I failed. But that's OK. B/c sometimes spending life enjoying time w/ the love of your life (aka your daughter) is way better than blogging about it! So here we are in Jan. 2018 and I log into blogspot to write a summary blog from 2017 only to find out I never finished this one.

The thing is, facebook keeps reminding me how quickly time is going by and it keeps hitting me - as a kid we always want time to go faster. "I wish I was older and could go out without my parents. I wish I was a teenage and could have more freedom. I wish I was done w/ college and paying bills and living by my own rules". Suddenly it becomes, "I wish I was a kid without bills to worry about. I wish had more money to buy things I want - like when I could ask Santa and he'd bring what I want. I wish I could go back to being a kid and slow down time."

I remember all of these feelings and I see Emer wishing time away. She wants school breaks to come so she can play all day but then she wants the breaks to end so she can see her friends every day again. She wants it to be Halloween b/c then her friends will be coming over for our party. Next up Christmas - she can't wait for Santa! We had a New Year's Eve party which couldn't come fast enough b/c her friends were going to be spending the night. And she's already wishing time away for her birthday b/c I told her that when I was a kid I read that age 10 is the best year of your life. She can't wait to be 10.

There is no way to slow this down...there is no way to get a kid to realize time is flying by. We just have to treasure each moment we get and live in it. Understand that the argument over cleaning your bathroom will always be there and it's best to be held on a day when nothing else is in sight. Remember that putting away toys is so much less fun than getting them out and sometimes it takes a friend yelling at you to finish your chores before you will do them. Understanding that reading in the hallway or bathroom instead of getting in the shower is a way to lengthen the evening and get more time to hang out. As a parent, I see the reason behind the rules as well as the fun behind the rebellion. As me, I get frustrated at her disobedience and blatant ignoring of us. As a parent, I struggle to find the right way to teach her things of importance while also allowing her to learn through her actions. As me, I am reminded of my pushing the boundaries and struggle to exert independence.

** But at the end of the day, I love my Chickee, my Emer, my Tiny. And she can argue with me all she wants but I will always love her. Even though I can't get her to slow down...